Popping up on social media everywhere are gratitude challenges. I have noticed a number of my friends around the globe posting what they are grateful for in various social network outlets. I was intrigued by this as I figure that I can always be more grateful especially when things seem to run amok. I did a few Internet searches for some tips on seeing each day with thankful eyes. There are plenty out there. Ways to start your day with thanks, appreciate the little things, see the beauty in all. Sounds good to me! So I mentioned this to two of my good friends in our group iMessage thread. They were on board, adding that we tell each other at the end of the day the good things we can acknowledge in addition to letting go of negativity. So today is the first of our 100 Days of Gratitude Challenge. Pretty cool, right?
So how did my first day go? Started out okay – headed out to hot yoga with the intention of having an amazing class, after all it was my second class after taking a two month break to recover from a non-life threatening but major surgery that went exceptionally well. I was feeling great. Until….until class started. It was hard and I have lost so much endurance. I realized that I am a slow, off balance, fat yogini. I felt like crying. Got a pep talk from an instructor that yoga is not about where we were but where we are, to be in the now and realize that perhaps today’s focus was just to make it to the mat. True words, wise words – yet I still felt like crying. So I, figuratively, did – into some junk food. Felt like crying even more. Talked to my mom who had a health scare. Yay! She is going to be okay. A sigh of relief. So much relief that I felt tired after our conversation. I think I was poor company for my coffee date with a friend who will be watching my fur baby while I am visiting my parents. A person I know I can trust and the furball likes her. And on it went – up, down, up, down, up, down. Yes I am grateful for many things but today I am also sad, tired, annoyed, etc. I was thinking I have already failed this gratitude challenge and it is only day one. Where is the joyous feeling? Where is my warm and fuzzy that I wanted. I pondered this on my bus ride home. My introspection did give me a bit of insight. Warm and fuzzy does not mean that I am not grateful. Perhaps it will come as I focus more on the good around me. I did, after all, have ups in my day. I was reminded of at least one purpose of yoga. I had relief after speaking with my mom and hearing her voice saying she was home and feeling well. I had trust in my friend who does and will take care of my treasured cat while I am away. Heck, I even had a lady pick up my yoga mat when it slid under her seat on the bus. And a gentleman held open a door for five people, including myself. So I guess the lesson for today is that although I do not feel “warm and fuzzy” I am still able to accept that everyday has something to give thanks for.
P.S. I ended my evening in hysterical laughter after my friend R sent me a funny distorted picture of her. So I downloaded an app and sent her a couple of me. We were both laughing and laughing. It made my day to laugh so ridiculously hard.